May-Tagged

So back in my kayaking days, Maytagging was an actual verb. It was when, during the course of running a river, you flipped over in a rapid and got caught in the current. Because it felt like you were literally inside a washing machine (except for the clean part), it got named after a brand of appliances. . .

Anyway, this is how I would describe the last couple weeks of my life: one big Maytag. Between juggling my the test prep class I teach, the internship class, the orchestra, and my dissertation, that’s the best description I can think of—crazy, busy, not knowing which way is up, and not at all sure that you’ll get out of it without having drowned.

But the good news is that I distributed my chapter to my reading group, so it’s out there. That’s a huge relief, and at the same time, it’s strangely disconcerting, like one of those dreams where you are at work and you realize that you’re naked. . . except for the naked part and the sleep part! But seriously, I feel very vulnerable and exposed now that my work is out there circulating amongst faculty and peers. The group is a friendly bunch, and the only times I’ve seem it get hostile is when the presenter gets defensive and hostile first (and that’s not my personality) . . . so it should be fine.

I presented my first chapter a little over a year ago, and it was really helpful, but the main reason I volunteered again was to give myself a deadline . . . and to that end it has worked like a charm. But it is kind of sad that I need the threat of public humiliation to really motivate me to get my act together! I felt okay about the draft as it went out—obviously, it wasn’t perfect and notably lacked a conclusion (but the chapter was already 14,700+ words long, and I figured that everyone would be pretty happy to stop without the conclusion . . .), but I don’t feel ashamed of it, and I think it does reflect a certain intellectual maturity since the very early draft of chapter 1. . . Hopefully my readers will agree.

But my weekend was spent in a state of recovery (after the Saturday morning computer lab session I had to proctor)—Me and my girl Kinsey Millhone, (protagonist of Sue Grafton’s Alphabet Series) hung out. I took naps. I went shopping (GREAT SALE at ANN TAYLOR LOFT for any of you shoppers out there!) All the while, I was feeling vaguely disoriented because I couldn’t really do what I usually do on the weekend, which is work on my dissertation. But the break was kinda nice. I’m also kinda glad that it’s over and life has resumed again.

As long as I stay out of the metaphorical washing machines . . .