"Miles to go before I sleep . . ."

This most seems to wander a bit, but bear with me. I'm getting my typing fingers back after somme time away from the keyboard. Graduation weekend is over. My houseguests, dear brother and sister-in-law, have departed after quite an eventful few days, and I am "student-free" for the next week. What that means is all I have to worry about for the next 6 days is my dissertation and conference paper, AKA downtime (or as close to it as one in graduate school is likely to get). I kinda forget how to function without juggling 17 different tasks simultaneously.

But the downside is that summer has officially begun. I know for most people this isn't a downside at all, but of course, I'm not most people. I don't like summer. Since moving to Los Angeles, I never have. Here's why:

In the summertime, campus is a dead zone. There are no people around. Friends scatter to the four-corners of the earth, and a few don't return. Basically, it is a very isolating and lonely time, and I'm one who doesn't deal well with isolation or loneliness. During the year, I'm fine because I get my people fix in class or in office hours, or even at the computer lab. . . but these spaces are all empty now until October. And what is worse, is that now I've been here long enough that most of my long-time friends are getting jobs and moving away. I don't begrudge anyone their success, but it does kind of suck to have your friendships feature a built in expiration date.

Well, that's not entirely accurate, because it's not like we stop being friends, but of course, those friendships change when geographic proximity shifts and you speak only once every few months or in some cases once a year instead of every few days.

But also part of what is going on is that I'm tryng to face the fact that this time next year, it could be me who is packing up and leaving town for parts unknown. Maybe not, given the current job market, but it is possible and something I need to get 'round to accepting. But for now, in order to get there (and really, what is more important, to just get done), I need to focus, so I'm glad about this week which allows me to get my head back into my work (after another mental leave of absence). If there was one thing that was brought home to me this week sitting through graduation ceremonies, etc. it is that I have much to do between now and next June.