I think I may actually be retarded part deux

So funds have been extraordinarily tight as of late, and until now, I had no idea why. I don't make a ton of money, especially over the summer, but I'm used to cutting corners and watching my expenses. I ad budgeted out the summer funds so that I could take my trip and not starve afterwards, and still I looked at the bank account and nearly had a stroke earlier today when I realized that I could pay my rent and a bill or two, but that I'd have no cash until November 1. WTF?!

Until I took a closer look at my credit card statements and realized that genius that I am, I had managed to pay one of them (with a $900 balance--and that is astronomical for me!), not once, but TWICE! Not sure how I didn't notice it or what I was on at the time, but this makes all the difference in the world. I no longer have to eat PB&J for the entire month of October. Hooray!

On other fronts, I'm loving my new computer--it is awesome!
Not so loving the guy right now. I did finally hear from him and see him, twice actually, and when I'm with him, it's fun, but he is TERRIBLE with the follow through. How many times have I complained in the blog about him not calling? He's still doing it. The first was on Friday, he wa supposed to call me that afternoon when he got back from work, and we'd make a plan for that night since he was going out of town over the weekend, and the phone doesnt ring until 7. Apparently, he fell asleep. I was noticeably pissed, but let him off the hook and ended up spending the night with him. Not only did I have to give him the evil eye to get him out of ed to see me to the door (I'm beginning to think he was raised by wolves), but then he was supposed to call Sunday AM when I was out with a mutual friend whom he had been meaning to talk to for a while now, but whose number he keeps losing (I've given it to him twice). He didn't call again, but now at least, I know that it's not me. This time, I can't really blame him. I know he was with friends for a birthday, and there's no way that we're close to serious enough for him to time-out and call me while out with them. But a part of me keeps reminding me that if he wanted to call, he would find a way to call. ut I'm trying to tell that voce to shut up, because it's not serious, and I'm not even sure if I want it to be. The verdict is still out. And that's okay.

All in all, it's fine. Part of it is good for me to just realize that I can handle whatever it is and don't need to get all freaked out or insecure or whatever. That it's not the end of the world if I don't hear from him. That not all relationships are like the one-from hell that I was in before . . .

And bonus: I'm not broke!