"Do you fall a lot?"

It gets worse.
Yesterday as I hobbled my way to work I get to which I’m hobbling in a little bit), I saw LVR BEAR herself, and get this: she’s a grandmother! Well, I don’t know about whether or not she has grandkids, but she’s in her 50’s or 60’s! She seemed nice enough—we exchanged good mornings and all, but in my head I kept thinking “On my God! This is LVR BEAR! Holy Christ!” I would have never expected that one in a million years. I thought it would be some 18 year old undergrad. Apparently not.

As for the hobbling, the Shoes of Death have sruck again. I thought that I had taken care of the problem, but it rained Sunday night and Monday morning. The problem is this: the shoes, very cute black Kenneth Cole Mary Janes that I founds at my favorite store, Off-Broadway Shoes, have very slippery soles. Actually, the only thing that’s slick is the heel because it is made of very hard, unscuffable plastic. The shoes aren’t heels, to be clear, but they are without a doubt the most dangerous footwear I have ever owned. I have now fallen twice.

The first time was in Whole Foods about a month ago (no Jake Gyllenhall that time). I went down hard in front of the dairy case, and at the time, I thought it was because the floor was wet. (Turns out that it wasn’t). I had my schoolbag with me, and it was heavy, so the fall was bad. Thankfully, I didn’t twist my knee, I just landed on it hard. I had to ice for a good three days and ended up with an extraordinary colorful bruise. Took about a week to get back to normal.

After that, I went to the store and bought the no-skid pads that you stick on the bottoms of shoes to provide traction. I thought that this had solved the problem. I thought wrong. As I’ve said, I fell again on Monday, on campus this time. Went down right in front of my office this time and landed on the other knee. Thankfully there were no students around. It hurt. So I’m back to hobbling and the bruise is starting to bloom. I’ve very very glad that it’s fall now so that I can wear black stockings this weekend at the anniversary party I’m heading out to Vegas to attend. Wouldn’t that be great to show up in a nice dress, looking like a fifth grader who had just fallen off my bike?

So the shoes are on hiatus until further notice, which kinda sucks because I really like them, and need something to wear to work besides chuck taylors. But, I’d rather wear casual shoes than actually break my neck or really hurt myself.

But the best part is that then yesterday, I fell again! I was wearing sensible shoes, or boots, actually that are not slippery, wobbly or anything else. I still wiped out in the middle of campus, right in front of this group of 5 or 6 students who were walking along behind me. And on top of that, there was some kind of something being filmed on campus yesterday (it happens a lot). I didn’t fall on film, but I did manage to wipe out in front of one of the film crew. The guys just kinda watched it happen, and then after the students all began asking if I was okay, he seemed to realize that he should check on me too.
Here’s the conversation as I recall it:
Girl: Are you okay?
Guy: Are you hurt?
Me: I’m embarrassed, but I’m okay.
Guy: Don’t worry about it, we needed something to talk about anyway.
Girl: Are you sure you’re okay, that looked like it hurt.
Me: Actually no, this one didn’t really hurt.
Film crew guy: This one? Do you fall a lot?

Uh, no, yes, I don’t know. I don’t think of myself as a particularly clumsy person, but I have fallen twice in two days, and not just tripped or stumbled, but completely wiped out and ended up sprawled across the floor in a state of complete disarray.

oh. my. god.

guess who I saw in Whole Foods this afternoon.
and not only did I have a good long sighting, first in the parking lot, and then in front of the store and again in the store, but he's a nice guy. Tere was this woman who was entering the store with a very little newborn in one of those slings that are all the rage, and he actually interrupted his conversation on his cellphone to stop her and tell her "You have the most beautiful baby!" (and he was right--the baby was absolutely adorable!) Most a-listers I've seen don't go out of their way to engage random strangers in public, even ones with adorable babies . . .
it made me happy.

And that's on top of the most amazing weekend I've had in a really long time. No it has nothing to do with the guy who hasn't called me in over a week. he's been away, first visiting a friend for her 30th birthday and then travelling for work, but y'know what, I'm over it. And that's in large part because a) I've had this relationship before and though certain things were WAY better, even that didn't go anywhere good in the end. Certainly not willing to walk down that path again with a guy who isn't even that great of a kisser. . . and b) because if I'm going to pine away for an absent guy with a great accent, he's going to be hot too . . . In other words, I've found replacements for my attention (they are both completely unattainable, but that's okay). Crushes are fun.

Went to see my absolute-most-favorite band in the world, The FRAMES, this weekend, and I wore this irish football jersey to the show (being as though they're from ireland and all). I went over exceptionally early so that I could get a good spot in front of the stage (did I mention that they're my absolute most favorite band?), and I saw them coming out of the tour bus around the corner from the venue as I was on my way over. I waved (and they waved back), but I didn't stop since I didn't really know what I would say to them, besides "hey," and that just seemed stupid. Anyway, some friends that I have met at these shows in the past were there already, and apparently, they actually know the guys in the band, so the band came over and said hi to all of us, and the lead singer gave us all hugs (I thought I might actually die--imagine getting a hug from bono or michael stipe or bruce springsteen--to me this was like that, only better!) . . .

After an absolutely amazing show, I decided to hitch a ride with these friends to san francisco the next morning to do it all again. the band came out and talked to us again after the show, and they even invited us to grab a drink with them--the friends weren't going because they lived a whole lot farther away from the venue than I do, so I didn't go either (am still kicking myself for this, btw!, but it would have been weird at the time for me to go when the people who actually knew these guys didn't). Anyway, san fran was not quite as great because the crowd sucked: lots and lots of *very* drunk people who not only kept knocking into us (one of them actually told my friend who is parapalegic and in a wheelchair to stand up or get away from the front of the stage! I almost decked her, but then I'd have gotten kicked out!). The same lovely folks spilled multiple drinks on my feet and proceeded to make out, first behind me, then beside me, then practically on top of me. I think I might have even had my first (and hopefully my last) threesome. But the show was amazing despite all that, in part because the band actually changed the setlist to incoroporate a couple songs that we had all talked about the night before. . . and that was pretty damn cool.

I think I may be getting sick--have had a sore throat since I woke up this AM, and my neck is still really sore from sleeping in the passenger seat of the car without one of those funky neck pillows, but it's all so totally worth it!

Even before the Jake Gyllenhall sighting . . .