things could be worse

So here I am, feeling mildly sorry for my perpetually single self and what do I happen to read about in this morning's paper? This 24 year old womman who was blinded and damn nearly killed by a piece on an entertainment center that went flying through her windshield as she was on her way home from work. The "Before" picture shows this beautiful, happy young woman, and the "After" shot would just break your heart. I don't want to sound condescending or patronizing here, but the asshole whose fault this was didn't even stop. And when he got tracked down by police who found fingerprints on one of the pieces of debris (the loser has a record), after lying about it, all he could say when confronted with the evidence was, "Oh, Yeah, I guess that could have been me."

Apparently, the worst thing that will happen to him is a $1000 fine. Meanwhile his victim's life is changed forever. What kind of world do we live in where that is any kind of justice? I mean, the jerk doesn't even have to pay for medical expenses. The poor girl and her mom are left with these staggering bills, even after doctors donated their services and people have sent in donations.

Then again, I guess that guy has to live with himself. . . .
Hopefully that's not an easy thing.

On a lighter note,
One of my favorite things about my apartment is the balcony. Ever since i got my cats, I don't spend as much time out there, since they aren't allowed to join me and it seems mean to sit there and not let them out . . . but anyway, every once in a while, I'll look outside and see a hummingbird.

I love hummingbirds.
I'm not much for religion, but I think that hummingbirds may actually be some sort of guardian angels. I'm not sure exactly how that would work, but they really are little miracles with wings. Perhaps they are lucky charms instead of guardian angels, but either way hummingbirds are pretty darn cool.

the eye of the beholder

Haven’t posted much this week, not for lack of things to post about—though now that it’s late and I’m allowed to write something other than my chapter, I’m drawing a blank . . .

I guess right about now, my friend and coworker, Orlando, is enjoying his final night as a single guy—he gets married tomorrow. I’m happy for him, though there is a small part of me that will be glad to have the wedding talk slow down a bit in the office. Since I’m not even dating anyone these days, hearing about someone else’s impending nuptials wasn’t always easy. It’s not that I begrudge him or anyone else their happiness, it’s just that I’m not in that place, and part of me is a wee bit envious.

I mean, I’m not getting any younger.

Part of it may be Los Angeles. When it comes to dating, I have very mixed feeling about this place. On the one hand, there are a good number of single people in their thirties, and that’s good. But at the same time, I think that it’s really hard to be a single woman here. Most women work out religiously and take really good care of themselves, and it doesn’t hurt that many of them can afford to have a little something done to take care of those especially stubborn problem spots.

Plus, I’m convinced that to be both attractive and intelligent is pretty much the kiss of death. Yes beauty is in the eye of the beholder and all of that, but at least in los angeles, beauty and brains (assuming I possess some share of either, which might be a stretch in both cases given my current status), is a fatal combination. I mean, most guys talk a good game—they claim to want someone who can hold up her end of a conversation . . . but when it comes to putting their money where their mouths are . . . well, let’s just say I’m still waiting for someone to prove me wrong on this one. And just so you know, I’m not Angelina Jolie’s twin sister, but I’m pretty sure I’m not hideous either. But then again, and I don’t think this is just me, it’s hard to talk for a lot of women to talk about their appearance. Either they come off as delusional or they come off as conceited. I don’t think I’m either of those things. I’m just your regular girl-next-door type, maybe a little better maybe a little worse depending on your own aesthetic preferences . . .

I think Zelda Fitzgerald hit the nail of the head when she wished for her daughter to be “a beautiful little fool.” Not that I would wish that on myself or my daughter, should I ever have one, but the whole brains deal—not always the blessing you’d think. Not only are you thinking about things constantly, but the awareness of it all can be a killer. At least if I were an airhead, I’d be, well, an airhead. I can’t help but think that that’s be kinda nice every once in a while. . . at least if you live in La-La Land . . .

I’m not really sure where all this is going except that it’s something that has been on my mind this week, so if for no other reason than to get it out of my own head, it goes up on the blog.

Anyway, I'm going to stop the slippery slide towards self-pity that I see coming on and just wish my friend and his bride every happiness (not that either of them will ever know--but everyone knows that secret wishes are stronger anyway!)

The Luck of the Irish

or the Irish-American?

So as it turns out, there’s this big Yeats* symposium going on in Sligo while I’m in Ireland this summer, so I think I might just go for bust and extend my trip for a week to go up and take advantage. The crazy thing is that my mom is totally in favor of this plan, even though she and I have discussed on more than one occasion the likelihood that I will chuck the whole academic lifestyle once I finally finish my damn dissertation . . . but hey, another week in Ireland, reading Yeats with Yeats people, who I am to turn that down? Sometimes the academic life can be okay. . . if only there were any jobs.

The downside of my current Irish fetish** is that it seems to involve a decidedly un-Irish new Ben & Jerry’s flavor called “Dublin Mudslide.”“Dublin Mudslide.” This is a downside because the absolute last thing I need while currently spending too many waking hours sitting on my ass working on a computer is ice cream. But damn, it’s good stuff: irish cream ice cream with chocolate chocolate chip cookies and coffee fudge swirls. I’m not even an ice cream person (unless we’re talking Cold Stone, and then it’s a whole other story).

*W. B. Yeats is perhaps Ireland’s most famous poet, and (more importantly), he’s the subject of the third and final chapter of my dissertation. Well, the chapter will come 2nd in the dissertation, sandwiched between T. S. Eliot and William Carlos Williams, but it is the last one to be written).

**I’m obsessed with Irish music these days, and my obsession hems now to be bleeding out into other things like Guinness and Bailey’s and the above-mentioned Ben & Jerry’s flavor . . .

The diabolical nature of Ticketmaster

1) TM marks up the price of concert tickets as much as 100% for their events because of miscellaneous “convenience” charges, venue charges, and other charges. This mark-up assumes that you choose to get your tickets by mail and do not pay extra to have them messenger. For example, for a ticket to a recent show, the face value of one ticket was $12. When all was said and done, it cost $22 and change. If I had wanted to print my tickets out myself (on my own paper, using my own printer and ink), it was have cost me an additional $2.50. Sorry, but if it’s on my dime, it’s on your paper . . .

2) In the event that a concert is cancelled, all of these extra charges are nonrefundable. So Whether or not a show happens, TM makes their money, and if the show I bought my $22 ticket for is called off, I’m still out $10.

3) TM has what they call “artist alerts.” What this means is that if an artist you like is going to be in your area, TM will send you an email telling you about it before tickets go on-sale. Sounds good right? Wrong. When these alerts do go out, it’s usually on the day before tickets go on sale. Since most tickets go on sale Saturday AM, the alerts usually go out sometime Friday. If you don’t live on-line you might miss them. Even if you do live on-line, there’s no guarantee that the alert will actually go out before the tickets go on sale, so in effect the alerts may well lure you into a false sense of security. This recently happened to me. Now, as it turns out I had tickets to another show on the night in question anyway, but the point is that tickets went on sale on Thursday for an event the following Friday. I have an artist alert for this event, so I should have been notified. I wasn’t. In fact, I still haven’t been notified, and the concert is now over. Had I known that TM sometimes falls asleep on the job, I would have been more vigilant.

4) TM is stupid. This last point might seem unduly harsh, but hear me out. At one of the local venues, tickets apparently went on sale last week for a band called “Aqualung.” (If you haven’t heard him, he’s good and you should check him out, but that’s beside the point.) I went to the TM site to see about getting a ticket for Aqualung, and it’s not listed. There is an event listed at the same venue for the same night for a band called Aqualong. Hmm. So I email TM and ask about it, because the aqualung website doesn’t mention a Los Angeles show, and I don’t know if there is a band called Aqualong. I certainly don’t want to buy a ticket if it’s the wrong band. Not only does TM, not know which is which, it didn’t even understand my email. I’ve now emailed them twice and have still not gotten a straight answer from them. I guess I’ll have to call the venue on Monday and see if anyone there knows what the Hell is going on. But I also goggled aqualong and did a few other internet searches, and to the best of my knowledge, no such band exists . . . so it looks like someone at TM made a spelling error and is just too clueless to fix it. I think I’ll be dealing with the venue from here on out.

5) TM sells tickets to scalpers. They have a program set up to prevent automated sales, but at the same time, I know for a fact that when the hot bands come to town and sell out in a short time that a good number of those tickets are going to show up on ebay before the show. I’m not talking about the “I had to go out of town on business so can’t make this concert” single user sort of thing—that I have no problem with. What I’m talking about are the vendors who buy tickets for the sole purpose of scalping them on the internet for profit. It’s not hard to figure out who these people are: they usually have usernames like “tix4sale” or something . . . What makes this so objectionable is the pretense that TM sells only to individuals. I could go on about the evils of scalping, but I’ll save that for another time.

The thing of it is that for a lot of the shows I go to, there’s not another option. One venue in particular will only accept faxes. So if you have no fax machine (like me!), you have to use TM. This vendor only accepts faxes between 1-5, and tickets usually go on sale at 10 or 11. . . so there have been occasions when the event has sold out before you could even send your fax if you’re lucky enough to have a fax to send. The one benefit is, however, with TM, if you purchase your ticket in advance, you’re most likely able to avoid the will call line the night of the show . . . that’s a plus—but I’m not sure if it’s an $8 plus . . .

rats, rats, and more rats . . .

Man, I'm such a sucker. . .

Of course work called two more times today about extra students. But All morning, I was good, I was focused, I didn't answer my phone. . . When I felt ready, I called back fully intending to refuse indignantly and deliver a verbal beat down to my coworkers who obviously think I have no life outside the office . . . (There are many ways in which I have no life, but a lack of things I need to do when I'm not in that lousy basement is not one of them. . .)

Did it happen that way? Of course not. The person who kept calling me had the nerve to be in a meeting when I finally called back, so I end up talking to my colleagues, the ones actually asking the favors. It's much easier to refuse a middle man. As a result, I now have 4 more students. I'm less than thrilled about this; they better be good students.

Moral of the story: No matter what, do not return phone calls if you don't want to be suckered, conned or emotionally manipulated. Especially do not return calls if you are the sort of person who is prone to being suckered, conned or otherwise manipulated. Wait until deadline has passed and then apologize profusely for not getting back in touch in time. One of these days, I will figure this out in practice as well as in theory.

My sole consolation in all of this is that hopefully someone somewhere is keeping track of all these good deeds (and overlooking my initial unwillingness to participate). It would be one thing if there weren't 47 other things on my plate right now--then I'd probably fuss but get over it pretty quickly. These 47 other things, however, make it tough because I'm already feeling like I'm wound too tightly. I hate being uber-stressed, and I resent having that feeling compounded by other people's drama. I'm one of those people who absorbs the energy of those around me, so my job can be especially stressful because students all come in with this heightened sense of urgency and I become infected with that urgency much like a virus or the common cold. I need to work on building up my emotional immune system, I guess. It may be the only way I'm going to survive this whole ordeal.

On a completely unrelated note, I'm wondering why it is that my neighbor feels the spontaneous urge to belt out "Holiday" by Madonna in the middle of the afternoon. To my knowledge it is not an actual holiday. If you've perused my list of random factoids, you know that I have an aversion to other people singing along to music--even if they can actually sing and I like the music they are singing. While my neighbor's voice isn't bad (but he is rather loud), I don't care for Madonna. It seems that now he's moved on to Morrisey. I usually like Morrisey (at least when he's coming from my stereo). I DO NOT like my neighbor's random fits of spontaneity.

intellectual overload

There's just too much stuff going on in my head. I'm stressed about not getting my chapter done, and I'm worried about rehearsal tonight because the conductor threatened to make every member of my section play a particular problem spot in front of the entire orchestra solo. I can play that spot, but there's no way I can play it solo. I get nervous and choke--that's why I am an orchestral player and not a soloist: safety in numbers. I don't want the entire orchestra, especially a certain someone, to think that I suck. But what else will they think when I crack publicly. My only consolation is a faint glimmer of hope that the conductor will give us a shot to play it together first, and that we nail it 'cause then I'm fine. no humiliation.

UPDATE: faint glimmers of hope sometimes can be realized! we didn't suck :)
Now if this strategy could only work in other areas of my life . . .

I'm also still messed up by a post on another blog that really upset me yesterday, and the more i think about it, more more messed up I get. I forget sometimes that there are people in the world who have different opinions and viewpoints than I do. I mean, of course, not everyone thinks the same way, but living in california, going to grad school, playing in an orchestra . . . all of these factors combine to make my world a particularly liberal place. Add to that a few years in the school of hard knocks and a deeply sworn vow not to judge other people because being judged can suck pretty hard. . . I don't know--I guess I try to learn something for everyone I encounter, in the real world or in blogspace. It's just difficult for me to read things that seem close-minded or judgmental or just logically unsound, especially when they come from people whom I kinda like. . . That said, I do appreciate different vantage points and try to be as open to them as I can. It's just hard sometimes, but I guess that's life; it's easy to accept difference when it's slight. It's much harder to swallow when it's fundamental--but I'm realizing that this is perhaps the whole point of acceptance.

I'm also really irritated at my job right now. I actually have three jobs: one as a graduae student to write my dissertation, another as a teaching assistant where I mentor and supervisor students doing internships for course credit, and three as a test-prep instructor. The internship job is really weighing on me right now because although I'm done with the in-office part of that job for the week, my colleagues keep calling me asking me to take on one more student. This has happened three times in 24 hours. Never mind that I've said that I don't want to be called unless it's an EMERGENCY; nevermind that enrollment for the course closed last week; nevermind that these students are not English majors or doing internships that have even the slightest tangential relationship to English, literary studies or the humanities. . .
I need to turn off my phone and just ignore it all because that's the only way that I'll get left alone to do any of my own work.

Of course, that hasn't happened today because my head is spinning like a three ring circus, or something that actually spins in too many directions at the same time resulting in utter chaos, but nothing like that actually comes to mind so the circus will have to do for now.

This is why I need to go back to yoga class or at least run somewhere and clear out all of this noise.

My 100 things

So I saw another blog that I thought was pretty cool Jazz . . . in strange places. Anyway, the author had a list of 100 random things about herself. I enjoyed reading them, so I've decided to try and come up with a list of my own.

1. I was born in Pittsburgh, PA and lived there three different times by the time I was in 6th grade.
2. My middle name is Elizabeth, but I like to tell people that it's Elvis. Usually they believe me. If fact there was one guy I knew in college who only found out last year that my middle name wasn't actually Elvis--that means I had him fooled for something like 10 years. I didn't mean to keep the charade going that long--I just kinda forgot about it.
3. Elizabeth was my Dad's grandmother's name, but when my parents told her that they had named me after her she said, "No you didn't. If you had, her name would be Elizabeth Erin."
4. The only thing I remember about my great-grandmother Elizabeth is that she had a parrot.
5. I love to go see bands! Love it, love it, love it! I'll go even if I've never heard of the band before (though in that case, someone has to vouch).
6. My favorite place to see a band is the Troubadour. Not only do they get great bands, but it is a small venue and I can walk there.
7. I like to go see bands by myself (you can't talk when the music is playing anyway)
8. I also like to go to the movies alone.
9. I don't think either of these makes me anti-social.
10. I've been in school for as much of my life as I can remember.
11. Doesn't look like there is any end (to me beinng in school) in sight.
12. I play the viola, and I've always played the viola. I only know one other violist who didn't play the violin first and switch over after the fact.
13. Someone should have noticed that the reason I liked the viola as a kid, what attracted me to it, was its name--the word "viola." I liked the sound of it--the instrument it went along with was almost incidental. almost. Kinda explains the English major thing.
14. I'm a true Libra--I don't like decisions, I don't like conflict, I have a good sense of style (even if I can't always afford to dress the part), and I'm very particular about how things look: clothes, hair, gift-wrap, buffet tables--it may be a sickness.
15. One of the great regrets of my high school career is not having room in my schedule to learn how to type properly. Had I known then what I know now, I would have made the time.
16. The first cassette tape I remember buying is "We are the World." I remember being so proud of that tape, and I listened to it over, and over, and over, and over (of course, singing along at the top of my lungs).
17. Apparently singing along to music is something I inherited from my mother. In addition, I apparently didn't like for anyone else to sing. My mom has told me on multiple occasions that when I was a little girl, I used to tell her, "Don't sing, Mom! Don't sing!" What a brat!
18. I love the Pittsburgh Steelers, and I'm proud to have been one of the original fans of "Big Ben."
19. I love fantasy sports, although I like baseball a lot less than football or basketball.
20. My favorite colors are violet-blue, rose-pink, and a teal-green/blue.
21. I cannot wear yellow without looking ill.
22. I love, love, love my ipod! I'm on my second after effectively wearing out the first one.
23. I can't decide if the ipod or tivo is the best invention of the 21st cntury thus far. Both have improved my quality of life immeasurably
24. My Tivo is absolutely better than my last boyfriend--making that swap has improved the quality of my life immeasurably too.
25. Because Tivo has purged me of that toxic relationship, it wins the competition.
26. I watch too much TV.
27. My favorite non-alcoholic drink is Fresca.
28. I don't think I have a favorite alcoholic drink. This doesn't mean that I don't drink, it just means that I don't have a favorite. It depends on my mood.
29. I could eat pizza every day of the week and twice on Sunday and be perfectly content.
30. To me, frozen pizza, home-made pizza, and different pizzas from different restaurants are all totally unique. Perhaps appreciating these fine distinctions makes me some kind of a pizza connoisseur.
31. I think ice cream is a valid breakfast choice. Granted it isn't as good for you as cottage cheese or yogurt, but dairy is dairy, and any of it would be more healthy than a Pop-Tart.
32. I teach a class on how to improve your score on the GMAT--but only the verbal part. Asking me to teach the math section of the test would be doing a serious disservice to the students in the class, and we'd probably have to pay them to put up with me instead of the other way around.
33. In fact, when it comes to most things mathematical, I am barely functional.
34. I remember all sorts of random things about people and events, but when it comes to remembering where I put my keys, forget about it. (pun not intended)
35. One of the main reasons I was excited to move to Los Angeles was that I thought that I would actually be able to get good Thai food here. I was right; I love Thai food!
36. The downside to LA is the lack of good pizza.
37. That downside is probably good for me because if I could find really good pizza in LA, I'd probably weigh 300 lbs.
38. I love Harry Potter and have read books 1-4 half a dozen times. I've only read book 5 twice (things are a bit busy these days).
39. I also love Stephen King, Michael Connelly, Patricia Cornwell, and John Irving
40. I briefly considered majoring in viola performance in college, but I decided that I liked daylight and eating more than I liked locking myself in a practice room and being poor. So what I'm doing in a ph.d. program is a bit of a conundrum at times.
41. I love Apple Jacks.
42. I absolutely hate cough syrup but don't think that the gel caps that you can swallow without tasting the evil that is cough syrup actually work so i have to construct elaborate distraction techniques to get myself to take medicine when I need it. Also, it means I'm really sick if I take cough syrup of my own volition.
43. I am an aggressive driver.
44. I know more about cars than any self-respecting woman should, except of course, how to fix them.
45. I have a wicked sweet tooth (and it's kicking in right now).
46. I'm not a big fan of girl scout cookies, but I usually buy a box or two each year to support the cause.
47. I wish I could afford to take more horseback riding lessons.
48. I love British accents.
49. I was born on Friday the 13th.
50. My favorite time of day is sunset.
51. I used to go whitewater kayaking and actually miss rivers sometimes, but I was always pretty nervous when it came time to navigate the rapids.
52. I did hit a combat roll though on one of my last river trips. It was pretty sweet.
53. I miss college sometimes, not the thing itself as much as the constellation of people and events that I experienced and got to know.
54. I have almost finished my ph.d.
55. I love manatees--they aren't the most beautiful or the smartest animals, but they seem like they are the most gentle and kind.
56. When I was a kid, I used to love mayonnaise sandwiches--that's two pieces of white bread and mayonnaise, nothing else. The thought of eating such a concoction these days turns my stomach.
57. I hate having to go to a car wash, and as a result, I often drive a very dirty vehicle.
58. I love Las Vegas, and I love to play blackjack. The last two trips, however, I haven't won or even broken even. Probably those weekends would have been better spent doing more productive things (like writing my dissertation).
59. A lot of my friends are significantly younger than I am. Those who are my age seem to be moving away, if they haven't already (it's a part of life in academics). I find that sad.
60. I have 6 piercings: three in my earlobes, one in the top outer cartlidge, on ei n the inner middle cartlidge, and one in my navel. The inner cartiledge hurt so much that I almost passed out and then I almost vomited. Consequently, it is the one I am most proud of.
61. I've thought about getting a tattoo at various times in my life, but I could never decide what to get or where to get it. I finally decided on a place, my foot, and then was told that not only did it hurt quite a lot in that spot because there are lots of nerve endings and thin skin, but that the tattoo would probably get blurry and eventually turn into a blob. Pain I can deal with, ugliness I can't.
62. I love to go rollerblading on the bikepath at the beach, but I won't go anywhere else because I can't stop very well (or at all). At the beach, if you fall, you can mostly fall in the sand. Other place would probably involve falling on pavement with traffic around.
63. I've been trying to make peace with my stomach for many years. It's the only part of my body that I really dislike, even though most people would probably say that I'm crazy and should have my head examined. But I haven't yet met a woman who is completely satisfied with her body, so I think it's not just me.
64. I do like my eyes--they're an interesting color of blue that shifts from blue to gray to sometimes even green depending on what color I wear.
65. I wish I could speak French.
66. My mom took me to see U2's Joshua Tree tour for my 13th birthday. To this day, it's one of the best shows I've ever seen, and to this day, my Mom has no idea how cool she was for taking me.
67. My dad is named Clement. All throughout my childhood we'd get funny solicitation mail at our house addressed to Kermit, Cement, and my personal favorite, Omlet/omlette.
68. My brother is pretty cool--but he's married now, which worries me since it seems like we couldn't both have a successful relationship at the same time. I wonder if his wedding took us both permanently off the market.
69. I really like living in los angeles, but I wonder if its harder to meet people in this city compareed to other places.
70. The first time I ever let my hair grow out was in college--my mom would never let me have long hair growing up because she said that thin hair like mine always looked stringy. For the record, I think she's wrong.
71. Every once in a long, long while I crave a slurpee from 7-11. There's nothing like a pure sugar rush.
72. I can't imagine taking a long trip with another person because I've been flying by myself for 8 years now with only one or two exceptions. That's not to say thhat I haven't met up with people once I've gotten where I'm going, but the actual travel part is almost always solo. I'l be taking my first entirely solo expedition this summer when I go to Dublin after the WCW conference. I'm kinda excited and kinda scared.
73. Frye's makes the best boots in the world--comfortable and durable and cool.
74. I inherited my grandmother's vanity streak. But I don't have multiple pairs of white pants hanging in my closet--in fact, come to think of it, I don't have any white pants in my closet.
75. I wear jeans a lot.
76. I like baseball caps, but I don't wear them very ooften because i think that hats and glasses together are usually overwhelming to a face--of course, sometimes that's the entire point. I try not to have those kind of days very often.
77. I much prefer daylight-savings time to thhe rest of the year--it's depressing to me when it gets dark at 4:30.
78. I wonder if technology is really such a good thing sometimes--I mean, yes I can now listen to whatever CD I want whereever I am, but I also could be working on my dissertation a lot more because i have a computer at home and could theoretically do nothing else but write. I don't think that's very healthy.
79. I don't like vegetables except for carrots, potatoes and corn.
80. I love fruit, however, and one of the wonderful things about california is the quality (and quantity) of fresh produce.
81. I'm not a fan of thee pomegrante--too much work and little pay-off. Thus if I were Persephone, I'd be seriously pissed at having to return to the underworld for three months all because I ate a few pomegrante seeds. I mean, come on, pomegrante seeds don't even taste like anything, and they stain everything red. Rip-off! If it were strawberries, mango, orange, plum, peach, nectarine, even grapefruit I could deal, but pomegrante--man.
82. In my next life, I would like to be a drummer. PLaying the drums is so cool, but I would suck at it because I can't do different things with different limbs at the same time. It would be a disaster.
83. In the orchestral microcosm, I tend to date trumpet players though I did also date a cellist once. Unfortunately, he turned out to be a Jerk (note the captial J).
84. I think I'll probably end up a perpetual bachelorette, and I'm doing my best to be fine with that. Sometimes it's easier than others.
85. In regards to above, I am the girl who is the gal-pal, girl-next-door, confidente, not thhe girl who is the love-interest. I'm still not enntirely sure, after 30+ years, why that is.
86. I love crossword puzzles and word games.
87. I read a lot of detective novels.
88. One of the hardest things about being single is having to put suntan lotion on your own back.
89. Because I've been a student for basically my whole life, I'm worried that I'll be a cheapskate even when I longer have to be. This, of course, assumes that I do eventually find meaningful employment that pays me more than my graduate student stipend.
90. I could never date a Republican.
91. I have absolutely no desire to learn how to surf, but I'll certainly hang out on the beach and watch.
92. I've been highlighting my hair for years, and yet it still shocks me when people say that I'm a blonde. To me, blonde is Kate Hudson, Kate Bosworth, Cameron Diaz. . . My hair is not that color. It's more like Jennifer Aniston or Kate Winslet (please not that I'm not talking abouut anything but hair color here!). To me that's light brown.
93. Part of me is sad that 90210 reruns are no longer on the air. I hope they'll come back to FX or another network sometime in the future.
94. This time around, I thhink April is indeed the cruellest month.
95. This blog is named after a song by Mic Christopher, whose music I really admire. I also really like the word, "Skylarkin."
96. I am not a morning person, even when I don't have to get up early.
97. I'm also not a nap person unless I am truly exhausted or sick.
98. I really don't like going down stairs if they have horizontal stripes on them because my brain gets confused and I start to get vertigo. I'm afraid to look down, but I;m also afraid that if I don't look where I'm going, I'll fall.
99. Actually, I think that falling down, at least every once in a while, is good for people because it forces them to get back up again, and there's no truer test of character than that.
100. I still wish upon stars.

Happy Birthday

to my little furry friend Owen. He's four today (or sometime around now--as he was a rescue, all we have are best guesses since no one was actually around for the birth!) But it's absolutely amazing to me that the little O. is already 4, and that Winston, his adopted brother is 5! It seems like yesterday that I was obsessed with finding the perfect grey cat (somehow, two of them managed to find me instead)! And yet it seems like they're been a part of my life forever. I guess that's the way it is when things are right.

The funny thing is that growing up, I was never a cat person--in fact, I didn't like cats at all. We always had dogs, and I loved dogs. Of course, my life doesn't permit a dog, even if my lease did (but it doesn't either). So when the hedgehog passed away (yes, I had a pet hedgehog--but that's another blog for another time), I needed to find a pet that was both legal in CA (thus no more hedgehogs) and conducive to a sometimes home, sometimes not, guardian. Cats were not the obvious choice; I didn't understand cats probably because I hadn't ever been around them. Thanks to a few good friends and their felines, I adopted Winston in June of 2000. It took a little adjustment in the beginning, but most things do.

Owen came along about a year later.
And that was four years ago.

Every day is like Sunday

Not sure what else to say about that.

Why is it that things that are supposed to be better for you don't taste as good as their less-healthy counterparts. Case in point: Jamba Juice. Went there on my excursion this afternoon, and got one of the new "lighter" options. And it tasted less. Not worse, mind you, just less--as in there was less flavor; tasted like there was part air. Not sure what that was all about, but I'll get something else next time.

Also had a shot of wheatgrass in honor of my friend Shelley who just moved back east yesterday with her husband and two sons. Shel was the first one to get me to do shots of alcohol at Penn State, and she was the first one to get me to do wheatgrass years later in CA (the key lime juice was my idea though, to be fair). Who would have thought that wheatgrass would have actually tasted kinda good? Certainly not me! And whose idea was it to pulverize it and drink it in the first place? But it makes perfect sense that Shel would be the one to introduce me to it. She always was into that healthy green foodstuffs. . . In fact the last time I saw her, she got some "Emerald Isle" juice with grass and spinach and stuff. I didn't try it, but have to say that it didn't seem all that appealing to me. Then again, neither did the wheatgrass. . . Hope that they're all adjusting to Allentown okay. . .

Hit 10200 words yesterday in the Williams chapter. Of course the quality of those words is something else, but I just have to keep telling myself that I'm still in the brain purge stage . . . Drafting is supposed to suck (and it does!), but that's okay because it's just a draft. Revision, revision, revision.

Witness for the prosecution

Actually, I was a witness for the defense.
For real, well, for real in a mock trial sense.

So I saw this sign on campus looking for actors to participate in a mock trial at the law school. Thought it sounded like fun--I have a million other things that I should be doing, but I really wanted to do this and check out law school from the inside. So I called. The woman I spoke with thought I was calling about being on the jury, but whatever. I gave hher my email and she sent me the information. I emailed back and volunteered to be either a witness or a jury member, so she mailed me some witness parts, and one looked good, soI agreed.

It was awesome! I LOVED it, and that's kind of weird, I think, but man. . .
I think I am going to go to law school.

Seriously.
Just have to finish my dissertation first.
I just got off the phone with my mom about all of this, and how I think this is something I really want to do. I don't think she completely gets it, but I don't think she's completely opposed either--just concerned that the whole ph.d. will have amounted to a big waste of time. I don't know how I can explain that that isn't the case at all, and that I needed to be doing what I'm doing to make sure that if nothing else, it wasn't the right path for the rest of my life . . . I mean, I love reading. I'll always love reading, and I love working with people--could never be a teacher in anything but college, but even that, i don't think will be completely satifiying because of the publishing pressure or the 4/4 teaching load to compensate. But I needed to be doing this to really figure all of this out. . . I'm still figuring it out . . . but I do know that it couldn't have happened earlier or any other way.

blogging at work . . .

Since there are no students right now . . .
Recently rediscovered the joy of the party-shuffle on my itunes (and on a related tangent, it's Tuesday, so there is potential for a new, free, song--woo hoo!) but back to the joy of the party-shuffle. Reminding me of albums I had forgotten that I had . . . case in point: Spain, "She Haunts My Dreams"--beautiful, bittersweet, melancholy. Would not be good if I were feeling depressed, but I'm not feeling depressed.

Can't say enough about how much I'm loving the new Bloc Party, how much I love my Frames, how jealous I am of all people living in Ireland in the month of April and can go see Bell X1 live, how much I hope that Matt Pond PA comes to the Troubadour in May or June . . .

Have recently been bitten by the spring shopping bug, and am currently infatuated with a brand call Da-Nang . . . and of course everything they make is expensive and silk and beautiful. Maybe someday . . .

In the back of my mind, I'm preparing to transform myself from Williams scholar, guidance counselor, verbal goddess into Barbara Moore, administrative assistant. I'll assume this alternate identity in a couple days for a mock trial at the law school. Should be lots of fun--I'll get cross examined in a wrongful termination suit. I don't really have the time for this right now, but it just seemed like so much fun! I know exactly how I'd use my testimony if I were the attorneys--I wonder if the "real" lawyers will be that clever ;)

Well . . . So much for Lion Pride

Guess I've seen some cool blogs and some not cool blogs, but I am feeling the urge to create something tonight and hopefully it will be closer to the cool end than the not-cool. . .



Spent my day today at the races, literally. Horse-races. "Santa Maria, why'd you have to burn?" Err, I mean, Santa Anita . . . fun--Penn State Alumni Association, although I only saw a total of 8 Penn Staters, and I was with three of them. Kinda sad, but maybe there were more people there that just didn't come to the picnic area. But funny thing is that I actually knew one of the other people--it was Gretchen from my Penn's Woods Days--the gretchen who was the Eisenhower stage manager . . . small world.



But it was a fun day, even though my horses didn't win. Didn't even place.
I was really hoping that Sweet Catomine, the only girl in her race, would kick it in and beat all the boys, but I guess it wasn't meant to be.



Got a t-shirt out of the deal though . . . and had fun . . .
and now have a headache, but I think the headache is more due to dehydration and the wind (it is REALLY blowing outside!) than anything else. Did have a few dixie cups of beer at the micro-brew fest, but it didn' really amount to much . . . but thhis wind, this wind is a whole other story. Can hear it through the door. Maybe I'm slipping into a Madeline L'Engle novel.



Or maybe not.